Tag Archives: love

50 plus 50 does equal 100 right??

hands

This is a follow-up to an article posted about “going Dutch on the first date”. As a friendly reminder we will do a recap. The moral of the story was if a guy ask you out on a date he should pay for the date but you would be the real MVP to leave the tip after dinner. Now is that how all situations occur? No, certainly not. Some women carry the majority of the expenses and they are fine with it, while some women don’t bring anything to the table but themselves. And that brings us to the second part of the topic, how much should your partner contribute? Some people feel if you’re not married then everything as far as finances should be split 50/50, and I’ve even heard married people still splitting things 50/50.

I mean honestly after the honey moon stage is over in the relationship, women we should at least have the common courtesy to surprise our men with dates and trips so they feel appreciated. Most of the time a true gentleman will never let you see the check, but from time to time offer to pay, it’s the thought that counts. If he is going through a rough spell and may not have the money flowing in like he used to, ladies would you carry the weight until he is able to again? Would you carry your own weight and bring a dish to the table? Having a man provide for you is fine but what are you willing to do for him besides open your legs? No one wants to be around a taker, a complainer, a person in constant competition with them. Home is where peace should be not war. I think we women are queens and we may get spoiled with that title but a real queen makes sure the palace is always operating and her king is constantly at ease. However, if a man isn’t doing things to be deserving of such treatment, then no, he shouldn’t receive it, but then ask yourself why are you letting a man treat you less than you deserve? Don’t get so caught up on what you feel, know what’s real, it’s nothing wrong with you helping out. Don’t take advantage of a good situation, instead capitalize and build, make it a great situation.

It takes a real man to help a woman understand no amount of  money can replace time spent and memories made. Men are the providers and protectors of the hierarchy. In some men there is a disconnect with the responsibility and yet the benefit is still expected to be reciprocated. If you show a queen that you will give your all to her, she will die making sure that you never have to. Real women speak life into the men around her, your dreams will be her dreams. Sadly, some women will suck the breath out of you, anything you try to accomplish will crumble so choose wisely. This is why you must protect and provide for the real women, because she will abandon her dream to speak life into yours. When there is a balance you as a leader can make sure she doesn’t have to leave her path to pave yours, you enrich her life so she is 10 times the woman as before. I believe men should pay bills, but not all of them. I believe men should pay for dates, but not every date. I believe men should be gift givers, but they deserve to be receivers also. I do believe men are the leaders, but real men know how to follow good directions.

I have been a taker as well as a giver and I can say both meant nothing at the time of occurrence. I took material and monetary things to replace time and love. I took because I thought the world owed me. I was a taker because I felt like no one was going to get me before I got them, and I always was the one who got got, go figure. At times I gave from the heart and other times I gave out of guilt and out of manipulation. I gave until I didn’t have anything left for me and it still wasn’t enough. I gave to gain acceptance and still didn’t get an invite. It all taught me balance, taught me self-love and self perseverance. I learned you get what you give in everything you do. nothing is owed to you and no one can read your mind. If you need help ask, if you don’t then be a helper. I ultimately learned love is an action. The way we spend our money on each other should be based upon the need it will eliminate, the joy it will bring and the memories it will created. One of my favorite quotes by Samuel Johnson is, “Kindness is in our power even when fondness is not”.

By: Keidra Ponder

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From Me to You Challenge – Ballad by Caley Bouie

Say my man!…You remember me right?..I’ve been apart of your life since ’85!…From the time you uttered your first word, “Mah”!…Now before you get all tough and ish, just hear me out!..It’s me, your intuition!…I was with you when you began walking at 8 months old!..You’ve always kept me in the cold, but no hard feelings right?!…I mean I’m not the one who didn’t listen to you…YOU didn’t listen to ME!…Now I’ve been around for some pretty amazing accomplishments…Honor student, pretty good ball player, amongst a few things that I’d mention!..And then there were the What Tha Fuck moments…The choices that you’ve just now realized that weren’t the greatest!…Just to name a few, that time you didn’t even think to apply to colleges because you were ok with settling for DBCC…Man oh man, you made straight A’s in your first semester of college and walked away…You wanted money, so you just quit on a dream!…How about those gals you chased?!…Bruh, I told you that it wasn’t going to end well, but you didn’t listen!..You were thinking with the wrong head!…Sure, you may have thought you were in love, but I’m sure you learned from that!…Ooohhhh and trying to satisfy everyone!…Hahahahaha, Man sheeeeit, they’ll be serving ice water in Hell before that happens!…Now, that I have your attention, just listen for once!…You’ve been a pretty good guy for as long as I could remember…Why did it take so much chaos for you to finally listen to me?!…Was the feeling of failure, the hurt, deceit or just that you ran out of answers?!…You became a shell of yourself and thennnn you gave in!…Hey Man, I’m not mad at you one bit!…Since then, you’ve garnered the respect from your peers!…You’ve made a name for yourself!..You went back to school and now you’re really living up to your hype!..When you had the idea to sell meals to people, I was the one that gave you the green light!…These days you’re really making a second income doing great things!..Your doing meal preps and this Spring, you’ll be catering a 100 guest wedding!…All you had to do was listen and believe in yourself!..I’m going to leave you with this….Just remember when the chips were down…No phone calls…You felt like nobody cared…I did!..So when you felt like the whole world turned on you…It was you and me!…Never forget that!…I’ll never steer you wrong!…I’m here to guide, Not to misdirect you!…I love you Caley!…How do you say it?!…Solid!

By: Caley Bouie

Ballad “From me to you”

That alarm that keeps waking you up at the crack of dawn, yet you can’t find, yes it’s me. You are not going crazy but you are going in circles and I’m here to guide you. Why do you doubt my instructions? Ye of little faith, have I ever led you wrong? I have never said anything out-of-place or biased. I told you what not to say and you still said it, I told you what not to do and yet you still did it. I let you learn but when will you listen? When will you trust me? That thing you call intuition, the voice you call God, yes that’s me and yes I am you. You are me, yet you still questions my motives and trust others. When you fall I never say, “I told you so”, nope, that’s all you, but it’s all good. Life is a journey it’s about the experience. Until you learn to live in Harmony, you will stay on the same level re-learning the same lessons. Life is a gift, your presence radiates your energy, so stay positive, anguish is a mindset. You are divine light having a human experience, intentionally unbeknownst to you. Once you are in unison with your mind and body then we can be one. I live in the place where you dream and you live in mine. You are my thoughts manifested into this realm. Relax, trust me, love yourself and love others. Love is the only answer, love is your religion. Be a giver and you will never have to take another day in your life. You must learn to walk in peace before you can fly in light. It’s not about how to get over something, it’s about how to go through it and remain at peace. Don’t question your purpose and don’t give up on your day dreams. You were beautifully crafted by me, so don’t change who you are for the world, but change how you view the world. Everything and everyone is connected. Fear nothing, let the past go don’t let your ghost haunt you. Manifest your destiny and so it shall be. Conquer your ego, your addictions and your attachments, it is then you will come to rely on your inner chi. Don’t go out searching, yet go out exploring, store your memories for your higher purpose. Protect your energy and shed negative vibes to keep your temple sacred. Breathe and think before you react, matter of fact don’t react just understand. Vibe with your soul, listen to the frequencies and say less.

By: Keidra Ponder

This is a ballad from myself to myself. I encourage readers to have a heart to heart with themselves and share it with us. #BalladChallenge #Frommetoyouchallenge