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Is it ok to go Dutch on the First Date?

Ok fellas I know it’s a new day and age, but really is it ok to go Dutch on the first date? Ladies have you ever been asked to go Dutch? How does this play on gender roles? How has the norms of the American society shaped such a question? I would like to examine this topic from a man and a woman’s point of view in a positive and negative light.

Personally, I think a man asking a woman out on a date and then asking her to pay half of the bill is unconstitutional. I mean just looking at traditional customs when a man shows interest in a woman, he asked her out on a date. He asked her out on a date so he could get to know her better and build a connection that could lead to their bodies being connected, of course.  In my eyes a man who wants you to pay half of the bill on the first date has no real interest in pursuing you seriously. He doesn’t value your company enough to pay for a meal he surely won’t value your time when he’s sorting through his other options. Yes it appears that you are an option, a priority will be treated as such and you better believe he has priorities. Some men like to test women to see what they will do when put in situations like this. They are insecure and want to see if you will react like their last girl or if you would be as irate as they thought you would be.

Now if a woman leaves the tip she is the real MVP, especially when she does it on her own free will.  Not all women base love off the amount of money you spend on her. Women love to feel protected and secure on all levels. If she feels as if you would give your last for her, she will give her all to you. The first date is crucial when it comes to dating, first impressions are everything. If she feels like you can’t buy a meal then how are you going to buy anything else of importance? It’s not the money that’s the issue it’s the consideration.  But you have some women that will take the entire tab and won’t let a man pay for anything. She might as well give him her panties too. Why take the protector and provider role from a man? Why do you need to parade the fact that you can do it? If he feels like you don’t need him for anything, then how could he ever be your knight in shining amour? Anytime he messes up in the relationship this woman who would buy this man anything he desires will also take it back just to show her power over him. 

 Roles have been reversed among the male and female and the reasoning is beyond me. Some say it’s due to society and the evolution of the independent female. Some of it’s due to the lack of leadership among our males and the unequal treatment in the workforce.  If you have more money than your man then you should invest in his dreams not in his leisure. Help him plant a seed to grow his own tree rather than eating the fruit from yours. And same for the men, help your woman cultivate her land don’t pull up all the roots because you don’t see her true essence. But I think I got a little too deep, back to the surface, on a first date treat her as you would want someone to treat your mother, your sister or your daughter. And women remember you are someone’s mother, someone’s sister, someone’s daughter, so act accordingly.

Stay tuned for part 2…..

By: Keidra Ponder

Keidra is a blogger, publicist and humanitarian living in Atlanta, Ga. She is the creator of Keedie’s Corner with a passion for telling the story. Keidra has been a co-host on various internet radio stations including; Ear Kandi Radio, HME Radio and AUMA Radio. She is currently a production assistant producing independent films with Lovizionz Multimedia. Keidra provides services to individuals looking for public relations and campaigning assistance. Contact her at keediescorner@gmail.com and follow her on social media at; Facebook- Keidra Ponder and Keedie’s Corner, Twitter- @keediescorner, Instagram- @keediescorner and @keedie_ceo and on Snapchat- @keediescorner.

What constitutes a real “DJ”?

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Imagine you’re in a party with your friends. Your song comes on and you’re dancing with that guy, or you’re dancing with that girl. Everyone is having a blast, and the song changes before the artist can even get to the chorus. Throwing off the vibe of the whole party.

Being a Disk Jockey, or DJ, seems to be a profession that some people just give a try thinking that just anyone can do it. That it’s not a skill that people have to practice and develop over a period of time gaining new experience with each gig. “Good DJ’s aren’t cheap and cheap DJ’s aren’t good,” an Instagram meme that stuck with me significantly because I DJ myself. When you’re starting out, no one wants to book you because they can’t believe you actually DJ or if you’re even good.

You have to “take an L” every now and then in order to brand your name and gain a following. However once that is done, you still come across people who don’t want to pay you for your worth. Not realizing that not only do you have to show up thirty minutes to an hour early before the event to make sure you’re set up and ready to go. You also have to carry all the heavy, expensive equipment from your home to the car to the venue and vice versa plus transportation. More than likely you’re by yourself and have to lift all of that on your own. Then you have to figure out what kind of crowd you’re actually playing for.

Hopefully they aren’t stiffs and actually came to dance, but most people in the new generation just smoke weed and snap chat all night. That’s when it’s your job to pay attention to who is in your audience. What age range? What’s the ratio? Is this a classy or ratchet event? What’s the ratio of men to women? Is this a gay or straight event? These are questions you have to ask yourself when deciding what genre of music to go into. But what makes a DJ a “good DJ”?

Some would say the selection of songs and the ability to mix them together. Others say you can’t call yourself a DJ unless you know how to mix and scratch, but the point at the end of the day is can you keep a crowd moving?  Are you fun? Can you engage the crowd by making announcements and adlibs periodically? All of these traits are things that come with time and practice. People don’t consider DJing to be a skill, but not everyone can do it honestly.

Personally, I think it’s the DJ’s ability to pay attention to the crowd. For example, if I’m at event where there is more women than men, I’m not going to play future or young thug all night, but there are DJ’s who do. Or if I’m at a family gathering, only playing what’s on today’s radio knowing I got people’s aunts, uncles and grandparents in attendance who came up in a different generation. You to be diverse and have music for the following sets to successfully keep getting booked.  They are hip-hop, R&B, reggae, soca, old school, 80’s,90’s, line dance, and or “twerk/dance music if your sticking to the African American dynamic. If not, then of course your pop, country, hard rock, EDM, and even house in some cases.

Most people will come up to the DJ and make a request, which is beyond annoying, however it’s going to happen regardless. Sometimes the DJ plays those requests and sometimes those requests go in one ear and back into the headphones. It’s cool to do your thing, but if you’re not catering to the people while doing your thing and no one is dancing, more than likely you won’t be hired back. The secret is to pay attention to the women.

The whole point of most straight men going out to the club is the potential of getting some after getting drunk, or having a nice “romantic” encounter with a young lady. Sure there are girls who will dance to Young Dolph, Yo Gotti, Jeezy, etc.., but when it’s time to create a social atmosphere of potential fornication, you have to switch it up.  Some guys are fine with jumping around with each other, but the ones who enjoy female energy aren’t really going to make a move if the ladies aren’t up enjoying themselves. DJ’s make a party, how many women were up enjoying themselves dancing around determines how “lit” the actual party was. A guy is going to remember who was the most turnt when “Panda” comes on, but he’ll remember that chick who gave him some “shake time”.

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By: Bronson Blair

Email: bronson.blair04@gmail.com
Ig @prothro_4
DJ HeavyB The Ratchet Dj
Prothro Productions (video production company)

ViewsFromDaBooth: What do I Stand To Lose??

I had to write this piece while it was still fresh on my mind, it made me contemplate certain things that I do and why I do them. Less than 8 hours ago I DJ’ed at the radio station and took one of the biggest risks of my life, it may have cost me, but I wouldn’t have done it any differently.

All eyes on me, I’m doing my thing, but the radio show takes a quick turn. “DJ 3000”, they say, “what’s the hottest indie artist in your playlist right now? Turn it up!” Simple request, easy enough you think? Not in the least. I had less than 30 seconds to play a song. Did they mean unsigned or independent? Big difference. Did they want artists that are getting paid shows, or ones that still have to pay for artist showcases? Bigger difference. So many choices, so little time.

I could have went with Migos, YFN Lucci, or  Dae Dae, all of who definitely have hot records out right now. Big Bank Black, Kodak Black, Joe Green, a lot of names instantly came to me. But with the spot light on me, I went against the grain and got my head chopped off. I went with an unsigned, truly independent artist, a group by the name SSG, with a hot record “I Got It”. Why? Well why not? Any song you have heard in the club or radio, is already hot. Someone already gave them a chance. They don’t need another one. A new artist truly on their grind would appreciate a live radio show saying they have the hottest song in Atlanta. They would appreciate it more than a well known artist that would ignore the respect given and go collect 10 bands at their next show. I pride myself on breaking records and pushing new artists to the forefront, that’s a DJs job right? So I thought.

Out of the 4 people in the room, 3 of them bounced to it and even sang along to the chorus. They were like “ok, I feel it” (I just broke a record to them and to the listeners, for those of you that didn’t catch it!!!). Like always, 1 hater remained, “Why didn’t you play such and such, you could have played this or that. That’s why you are where you at, your playlist weak”, oh believe me, I heard it all. Group think kicked in and they all jumped on the band wagon. Really? I’m a record breaker; we go against the trends and bring something new to the table. None of you heard this song, and were bouncing to it. None of you know how hard these artists work, how much they spend on promo, how many DJs they go out and support on a weekly basis. And you have the nerve to talk down on them, talk down on me? For believing in them? It’s people like you that choose to keep the status quo and make new artists jump through hoops just for a chance to be heard. I took this opportunity to play something fresh and new, of course there are plenty of names I could have went with. But I choose to take a  stand for indie artists, the ones that I have seen with my own eyes on the grind and really pushing their craft.

Long story short, DJs are given a very big platform, with a very small window of opportunity to play new records. If you find a DJ that is willing to take a risk on you, support him at all costs. He could stand to lose his job by playing your record. Would I do it differently? No, that’s what makes me, Me. I don’t mind taking heat for songs I believe in, especially if it’s a hot record. If I don’t play it, how will it ever get heard? It’s called breaking a record. I’m a DJ. Get used to it.

DJ 3000

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#ViewsFromDaBooth is a biweekly article from the south’s newest record breaker, DJ 3000. DJ 3000 is creator of mixtape series Off Da Brick, Finesse Game Strong, Private Party Kush, and DJ or Die Tryin’. He currently DJs at various night clubs in the Atlanta area, and you can catch him live every Thursday at 8 pm on Nu Radio. Follow him on Instagram @3000_da_DJ.