Ok fellas I know it’s a new day and age, but really is it ok to go Dutch on the first date? Ladies have you ever been asked to go Dutch? How does this play on gender roles? How has the norms of the American society shaped such a question? I would like to examine this topic from a man and a woman’s point of view in a positive and negative light.

Personally, I think a man asking a woman out on a date and then asking her to pay half of the bill is unconstitutional. I mean just looking at traditional customs when a man shows interest in a woman, he asked her out on a date. He asked her out on a date so he could get to know her better and build a connection that could lead to their bodies being connected, of course.  In my eyes a man who wants you to pay half of the bill on the first date has no real interest in pursuing you seriously. He doesn’t value your company enough to pay for a meal he surely won’t value your time when he’s sorting through his other options. Yes it appears that you are an option, a priority will be treated as such and you better believe he has priorities. Some men like to test women to see what they will do when put in situations like this. They are insecure and want to see if you will react like their last girl or if you would be as irate as they thought you would be.

Now if a woman leaves the tip she is the real MVP, especially when she does it on her own free will.  Not all women base love off the amount of money you spend on her. Women love to feel protected and secure on all levels. If she feels as if you would give your last for her, she will give her all to you. The first date is crucial when it comes to dating, first impressions are everything. If she feels like you can’t buy a meal then how are you going to buy anything else of importance? It’s not the money that’s the issue it’s the consideration.  But you have some women that will take the entire tab and won’t let a man pay for anything. She might as well give him her panties too. Why take the protector and provider role from a man? Why do you need to parade the fact that you can do it? If he feels like you don’t need him for anything, then how could he ever be your knight in shining amour? Anytime he messes up in the relationship this woman who would buy this man anything he desires will also take it back just to show her power over him. 

 Roles have been reversed among the male and female and the reasoning is beyond me. Some say it’s due to society and the evolution of the independent female. Some of it’s due to the lack of leadership among our males and the unequal treatment in the workforce.  If you have more money than your man then you should invest in his dreams not in his leisure. Help him plant a seed to grow his own tree rather than eating the fruit from yours. And same for the men, help your woman cultivate her land don’t pull up all the roots because you don’t see her true essence. But I think I got a little too deep, back to the surface, on a first date treat her as you would want someone to treat your mother, your sister or your daughter. And women remember you are someone’s mother, someone’s sister, someone’s daughter, so act accordingly.

Stay tuned for part 2…..

By: Keidra Ponder

Keidra is a blogger, publicist and humanitarian living in Atlanta, Ga. She is the creator of Keedie’s Corner with a passion for telling the story. Keidra has been a co-host on various internet radio stations including; Ear Kandi Radio, HME Radio and AUMA Radio. She is currently a production assistant producing independent films with Lovizionz Multimedia. Keidra provides services to individuals looking for public relations and campaigning assistance. Contact her at keediescorner@gmail.com and follow her on social media at; Facebook- Keidra Ponder and Keedie’s Corner, Twitter- @keediescorner, Instagram- @keediescorner and @keedie_ceo and on Snapchat- @keediescorner.